How to Hold Successful Family Meetings

Every family member should stay informed about any caregiving issues.

It’s easier to deal with a crisis or with on-going issues if everyone is in the loop. Family meetings are a way to do that.

Agree on who may attend. Some families limit the meeting to parents and children only. Other families will include extended family and friends.   A good practice is to include everyone who will be a part of making the decisions.

Choose a meeting time and location that works for everyone.

Neutral ground may be best, such as a conference room at a hospital, senior center, or school.

Don’t use the meeting time as a power play. Sentences that begin, “If they really loved Mom, they’d …” never end well.

Have a time limit for the meeting and an agenda. Stick to it.   This prevents people from going off on tangents and wasting time.

Send important information in advance to all who will be attending.

Have child care available so that small children will not be a distraction.

Have a moderator and someone assigned to take minutes for the meeting.  Or use a tape recorder.  Write down issues that aren’t on the agenda, with the agreement that they’ll be discussed at a later meeting.

And finally, let every person speak.

Listen respectfully and actively, don’t just bide your time waiting for your turn.

Remember that equitable contributions are not always equal.

For example, one family member may spend more time doing day to day care.

Another may accept a larger part of the financial responsibility.

Yet another may do shopping, take the person to appointments or provide respite.

Let go of family rivalries or unresolved conflicts with the person you’re caring for.

And if you need professional help, get it.

Remember, Eastern Agency on Aging’s family caregiver program is here to help you while you care for your loved one.